2.03.2010

Dive Worship School with Rita Springer

A few times a year Rita Springer hosts DIVE, a worship school. So here I am, in Charlotte NC with 10 other ladies. The truth is, I’m quite terrified. I don’t necessarily know why and I can’t point to this or that as sources of terror… I just get overwhelmed in groups of people when I don’t know anyone. Additionally, I just feel like a fish out of water in general as I don’t really fit the mold of those who are here also. However, that probably isn’t fair, because there are a handful of us actually that don’t fit “the mold.” Ok… the truth is that I still view the proper mold of a female worship leader as: dressed to the nines, perfect teeth, lots of make-up, strong southern drawl, really high heels, and a skirt-suit. That’s really unfair and I need to work through it… So the bottom line is, I don’t see myself as what has always been the image in my mind for a female worship leader. Not only do I not see myself that way… I am not that way… and I shouldn’t be that way… because that isn’t me or who I was created to be and one day I will be okay with that…

In my mind I came here to be a better worship leader… after this evening I think God brought me here to be a better me. I have been a bit removed from active prophetic giftings for the last couple of years. To be honest, in a lot of ways I don’t miss the prophetic because it was so abused and so misguided. It has become a platform for people to tell others what they want to say and to sign God’s name to it. That, to me… is gross. However, this evening, I was refreshed by Rita’s obedience to the prophetic. When I got to my room today I had a bag with some goodies and a card that Rita wrote before ever meeting me. I felt like my mail had been read and I was so reassured that I was in the right place.

For those of you who know my journey much or at all, you will see the beauty in these statements. Tonight, I sat with Rita for what seemed like hours, but was probably 30-40 minutes as she told me why God told her I was here. There is so much I want to share just from this evening, but the truth is I need to digest it first myself… So I will chew and then share later.

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